Devin O'Branagan

Bad Cupid

It was just not meant to be

But it’s what the bad cupid did to me.

He was fine, a dreamy sort

But all he did was hide in a fort

It was made of wood, over a deep dirt hole

Avoiding a cave-in was the main goal.

He was 10, I was 8

Who knew that day we’d meet our fate?

His sister my friend and I would play

Almost each and every day.

He was older and a bit too tough

He liked to to play super rough.

The fort was cool – a dudes delight

But girls stayed out – mostly from fright.

Then one sixties Valentines day

I got a card and I knew he was gay.

That wasn’t cool how could it be

He shoulda been in love with me!

But even then, he just knew

And over time his feelings grew.

How could cupid be so bad

To make me goofy over this lad?

I know him still his husband too

They tease me cause I didn’t get Drew.

He married Steve from the FBI

Who really is a hellava guy.

As for me, I felt so stupid

For getting nailed by bad bad cupid

My first love, snatched away

Because my guy was really gay.

Cupid was bad – why didn’t I get

A person to love who was a perfect fit?

For me, I mean, a perfect guy

Who wouldn’t end up making me cry.

Hey – I’m open minded and cool

But learning this in elementary school?

That’s a bit tough, a little bit hard

To read in your special Valentines card.

Hooray for Drew, who early in life

Found himself a perfect wife

The wife’s a guy, but that’s OK

He likes to describe himself that way.

I still remember what the card said

It had some flowers and then it read:

Roses are Red, Violets are blue

I like Steve how about you?.

Can boys like boys? Check yes or no

I wasn’t sure which way to go

So I checked YES – even then I knew

Love is for all, not just a few.

Drew lit up like a Christmas Tree

And ran across and hugged on me.

I guess I was always the gay guys friend

Always ready with an ear to lend

It’s OK I’m married now

I got a guy, not quite sure how.

In the 60’s it wasn’t so clear

That you could love who you liked without any fear.

So maybe bad cupid was a visionary

And knew someday 2 dudes could marry.

But in that year 1969

I just wanted Drew to be mine.

At least I didn’t let anyone see

Just how sad his card made me

‘cause I remember to the very day

the smile on his face and what he would say.

You are great – sure you won’t tell

I nodded yes as I heard the bell

At a reunion years and years after that

He asked if I remembered the fact

That he had asked me if love could be true

Between 2 young guys, Steve and Drew.

He said I was the only one

Who didn’t care what he had done

His mom, his dad his sister too

They couldn’t understand out of the closet Drew.

But he said I helped him keep holding on

Way after school days were long long gone

As were the books, teachers and toys

Who knew then that 2 10 year old boys

Would stay together for over 4 decades

While other childhood memories fade

All ‘cause of that  bad, bad cupid

Who at the time I thought was really stupid.

The Guardian

             My people are the guardians of love. Humans call us cupids, although they believe there is only one and we look like cherubs with loincloths and an arrow with a heart at the end. This is inaccurate however. We wear a lot more than loincloths and there are a lot more than one of us. We also are the guardians of more than just one kind of love. We guard all forms of love and have for centuries. Love for a child, the love of friends and family. Love for animals and the world that surrounds us. But we also guard the love that is harmful and destroys. This love is corrupt, it craves violence and terror. This is not seen as love, but love is in everything. It is the love of hatred, the love of anger.

            I am one of the few guardians of this love that destroys. There are not many who can watch over those who feel this. It is hard to watch the love people feel destroy others and themselves, but it is a necessary responsibility. This form of love comes in many forms. It may be between a parent and a child, or between jealous siblings. It may be between friends or partners. The kind of destructive love I watch over is in the form of two people who fall in love in the way that should create happiness, joy, and someday family, but instead it brings sadness, sorrow and destruction.

            Over the centuries I have watched as this destructive love has consumed couple after couple. It is strong, powerful, all consuming, and full of passion. I watched as an ambitious young Pharaoh fell in love with his young Queen, and together destroyed the gods, and put a new one in their place. I watched as their ambition and need to please one another lead to the downfall of their kingdom and their family.

            I watched as another young Queen fell in love with her Roman conqueror. I saw him fall in love with her and all he was willing to sacrifice for that love. Then as the young Queen fell in love with her conquerors most trusted warrior, I watched as his need to be with her, to please her lead to the fall of the Queens rule and the death of the warrior and the Queen.

            I guarded over the love that captured the hearts of two young people from different sides of two warring families. I watched as they met secretly, while those around them fought. Then I watched as their love for one another lead them to kill themselves at each others side so they could be together, and as their heartbroken families came to find their children dead.

            I have guarded over this love that consumes and destroys for thousands of years. I have watched it tear families, cities and even countries apart. I have seen it take hold so strongly that only death can stop its fury. This love that corrupts is thought to be evil, and to be feared. In turn I am also thought to be evil and to be feared as well. I am called bad because of the love I guard. Most do not consider what I watch over to be love. They see it a something dark and sinister made to look like love.

            But it is love that I guard. This destructive love is necessary; we could not appreciate the other forms of love without it. Because such powerful, all consuming, corruptive love exists, we can truly understand and appreciate the pure love. The love parents feel for their children, the love that brings people together.  We could not truly feel the power of that kind of love if we didn’t also have love that destroys.

            I am a guardian of misunderstood love. I guard those who are slaves to a love that will destroy them and those around them. This is not a love that is easy to guard. It does not bring hope to the world; it does not bring good things to those who feel it. It is a love that must be. So I am seen as bad, as evil, as a bringer of pain and sorrow. That is something I am willing to live with. For I know that I am a guardian of the most powerful force in this world. I am a guardian of love.